Destiny and hope...

I have been debating with myself for several months about sharing our adoption process with more than just D, and our four legged fur baby, Lola. We want our family and friends to know what is going on but at the same time we want to still lead our normal lives not getting wrapped in the whole "waiting" part of it all. 

D and I have had many conversations that many couples expecting biological children will never have to have. The process has been eye opening, exciting, nerve wracking and very much like a roller coaster with its ups, downs, twists and turns.  

I have struggled with fertility issues for some time now. After D and I lost our daughter at 20 weeks, he and I both decided almost simultaneously but without conversing with each other, that we wanted to adopt. D sent me an article in November of 2010 about a couple that chose to adopt a baby. It was an extremely sweet and touching article. I mentioned to D that even before he sent the article to me that I was already thinking about it on my own. I won't be able to describe the moment but it was almost comical and eerie that we both had been thinking the exact same thing at the exact same time as if it was always meant to be.

I think many people that hear the word adoption assume that it was a last resort for couples, and maybe their only way to have a child. Sure, for some that really is the case. There isn't anything wrong with that and it is actually a blessing for all parties involved. But for D and myself, this is a choice we made and one that we made with our hearts first, and heads second. We could have and still can decide to do fertility treatments and continue the IVF path to build our family but that isn't the path our hearts are telling us to follow.

We both feel, that for some strange yet undeniable reason, there is a baby waiting for us who was always meant to be with us and we just haven't found each other yet. We hope that people don't feel sorry for us and hope that others share in our excitement. We also hope that people realize that if it wasn't for our sweet Aven, D and I would have never found this path. It is almost as if she chose the path for us.

I am going to try my best to keep Aven's blog just for Aven and this blog just about our adoption process, our thoughts on it, the issues that we will and do struggle with, the things we want others to know and of course the joys. I realize it is easier for me to say this than to actually put it into practice but I am going to do my best. I also realize that I will probably have very little to say on this blog and that it won't be updated regularly. Sometimes there really will be nothing to say...until then, we wait.

Always,

April

Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul,

and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all. 

~ Emily Dickinson~