Five!

Five days...

Crazy scared. Crazy anxious. Crazy emotional. Crazy stressed. Crazy crazy.

Little Yellow Chicken

While I was cleaning out the nursery closet, I found a little yellow chicken that was bought for Aven by her Aunt C prior to me finding out I was pregnant with Aven. Surprisingly, it made me really happy to find it, I forgot all about it to tell you the truth. I am excited that Baby C will get to have something that belonged to big sister. I think it is pretty special that I will get to pass the little yellow chicken to our future child. Every time I look at it now, and yes I have looked at it a lot since I found it, it gives me hope. It may sound absurd that a stuffed little yellow chicken could do that to a person but it is much needed right now because this wait is torture.

In 2 weeks, something life changing is going to happen to us. Either Baby C will finally be home or, we will begin grieving the little baby that we have been receiving updates and pictures on for the past 21 days. Both events will have a significant impact on us and therefore the next couple of weeks are going to be really tough. The anxiety, anxiousness, fear, excitement are already in full swing and there are no signs that it will let up until the day is here.

So for now, I will just stare at the little yellow chicken...

Always,

April

Cupcakes!

One of my favorite shower pictures, tasty cupcakes to match Baby C's crib bedding. What an amazing and awesome day today. Love. Love. Love!

Shower time!

Tomorrow is our adoption shower. Excited! Excited! Excited! And a tad nervous. I am more nervous about the questions that will be asked of us. People are not trying to be nosy or intrusive but adoption just makes random phrases and questions fly out of peoples mouths that sometimes don't warrant a response because they are really personal. People love us and care about us which is why they ask so many questions but there are still parts of our adoption process that belong to Baby C. If Baby C wants to tell you one day, he will. Excited! Excited! Nervous! Excited!

Meeting Baby...

Monday we had the chance to meet and hold baby 27 hours after he was born. And yes, baby is a HE. He is the most beautiful little boy and there was just no way we were going to walk into that hospital room and not fall in love with him immediately. V and her family have been wonderful. We had the chance to sit and talk with V's mother as well as have a conversation with V's father. V's family is very supportive of V's plan for adoption. After 2 hours, we had to leave baby and V. It was not easy to say goodbye to any of them. V gave us the first hat he wore so that we had something of his while we were apart from each other. I can't explain how in awe I was to sit and watch D feed and hold baby. It took my breath away but it was peaceful at the same time.

We have been in contact with V since having baby and we know how hard it was for V to make the second decision to stick with her adoption plan, and she has. So far, things are still a go and we are all hoping December comes quickly so that baby can finally come home.