D and I had lunch with our caseworker, A, A's sister and brother in law today. I was nervous as expected. I told D and our caseworker beforehand that I wanted to have a quick lunch and get out of there as quick as I could. My thought was that the least amount of talking we had to do or that I had to do, the better for all parties involved. I was completely floored when we left the restaurant 2 hours later. The time just flew by. I learned that A is hilarious! I laughed so much and smiled so much by pure accident that my face hurt when I left the restaurant. After our 2 hour lunch I discovered there were many things I had in common with A. D and I were absolutely delighted to meet her. I will say that after having known her even for a second, if this doesn't end up working out I will be disappointed because I think she is such a fantastic person. A is one of those people that can smile and the whole room lights up. D and I are still aware that A may change her mind but for the time being she has officially picked us to be the family for her baby.
We are an officially matched family!!!
Being officially matched means that no other birth mother is allowed to look at our family book and we are off the market so to speak. Our picture is still posted on the agency's website for people to see but that is all. Our picture will remain there until we are driving off into the sunset with a baby in our car seat.
We are excited but at the same time, the red flags are still there. We do know that A has tried adoption before and changed her mind after delivering her previous baby to parent therefore we cannot get our hopes up completely. It is not done, until it is done.
I will say this though.. I am still glad to have met A. She has a great sense of humor and is a very bright spirit in this world. Whatever happens, it was just destined to be that way.
While we were sitting in the parking lot of the restaurant, a hummingbird flew from the trees. Hummingbirds to me are little signs, signs from someone up above, looking down on me reminding me that things really will be okay.
Always,
April
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Blind Sided
We received a phone call from our adoption caseworker on Wednesday letting us know that the birth mother that looked at our book has once again changed her mind about adoption and is open to it again....maybe. The birth mom, who I will now refer to as A, requested to speak to us on the phone. Our adoption caseworker asked us if we were willing to speak to A knowing that she is not sure yet about what she wants to do. Both D and I feel that even though this is a crazy, emotional and possible life altering decision, she could potentially be the person that is looking for us and us for her. Because this is the second time we have heard about A, it now feels like we are sort of like a boomerang in that we keep hearing about A and that she keeps coming back into our lives.
We had nice conversation with A this evening. I was extremely nervous and ran out of things to talk about the first 2 minutes into the conversation. Lucky for us, A is a talker. A told us that she really liked our family book and requested to meet us in person.
Because A is due in the very near future, as in SEVEN DAYS FROM TODAY, we are going to meet her sometime next week. We will not be meeting A alone though. We will be going to lunch with A, her caseworker and our adoption caseworker. Both D and I have no idea what to expect. It is one thing to have a conversation on the phone for 30 minutes where you can't see people's expressions and body language but a whole other to sit for an hour or so eating a meal together. It should be interesting.
D and I are happy that things are moving along pretty smoothly but we also are extremely cautious and guarded. A is a nice person from the little we know about her but A has said herself that she is not sure what she wants to do. There is still a great great GREAT possibility that A will decide to parent her baby. Therefore, we are not jumping around in our seats just yet or ordering cribs of any sort. The good news is that we will at least know in about 2 weeks if she is either going to pick us to care for baby or if she will be the one caring for baby.
One thing that we did tell A before we disconnected our call is that no matter what the outcome is, A will always be part of our adoption story because she was the first birth mother we had the chance to get to know and no matter what happens in the end, that will not change.
Always,
April
We had nice conversation with A this evening. I was extremely nervous and ran out of things to talk about the first 2 minutes into the conversation. Lucky for us, A is a talker. A told us that she really liked our family book and requested to meet us in person.
Because A is due in the very near future, as in SEVEN DAYS FROM TODAY, we are going to meet her sometime next week. We will not be meeting A alone though. We will be going to lunch with A, her caseworker and our adoption caseworker. Both D and I have no idea what to expect. It is one thing to have a conversation on the phone for 30 minutes where you can't see people's expressions and body language but a whole other to sit for an hour or so eating a meal together. It should be interesting.
D and I are happy that things are moving along pretty smoothly but we also are extremely cautious and guarded. A is a nice person from the little we know about her but A has said herself that she is not sure what she wants to do. There is still a great great GREAT possibility that A will decide to parent her baby. Therefore, we are not jumping around in our seats just yet or ordering cribs of any sort. The good news is that we will at least know in about 2 weeks if she is either going to pick us to care for baby or if she will be the one caring for baby.
One thing that we did tell A before we disconnected our call is that no matter what the outcome is, A will always be part of our adoption story because she was the first birth mother we had the chance to get to know and no matter what happens in the end, that will not change.
Always,
April
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Little things...
D and I are slowly starting to get ready. Though we aren't certain when our time will come, we are certain that there are still tasks we have to complete prior to baby. There are a good number of trainings we have to attend and complete by a certain point. Some of the trainings have to be completed before they will allow us to leave the hospital with our newborn child and some have to be completed at least within the first six months after our newborn has been home. We have completed 2.5 trainings and still have SEVERAL to go. I am proud of us for at least doing what we have done but at the same time, we know we need to step it up so that we aren't scrambling at the last minute. I hate scrambling. I am such the planner that having something looming over my head like this doesn't sit well.
Yesterday, we ran errands and while looking for clothes for Lola, we stopped to look at a car seat and pack-n-play. Granted, this only lasted a second before I moved us along, it was still a little progress from avoiding the baby aisle all together. I think one of my biggest fears at this point in the adoption process is that we will plan a nursery, buy all of the items we want and need and then it sits vacant for years. I am still on the fence about where we should be as far as planning a new arrival because we have zero time frame to work with. I have one foot in the baby aisle and one foot trying on a new pair of shoes.
Yesterday, we ran errands and while looking for clothes for Lola, we stopped to look at a car seat and pack-n-play. Granted, this only lasted a second before I moved us along, it was still a little progress from avoiding the baby aisle all together. I think one of my biggest fears at this point in the adoption process is that we will plan a nursery, buy all of the items we want and need and then it sits vacant for years. I am still on the fence about where we should be as far as planning a new arrival because we have zero time frame to work with. I have one foot in the baby aisle and one foot trying on a new pair of shoes.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Still on the road...
We received the official notice from our adoption caseworker today about the birth mother that viewed our family book. She has decided she is going to try and parent her unborn baby herself.
This was no surprise to me and D. Because the birth mom is no longer a mom that will have any future in our lives, I can share a little about her. She is 25 years old and this was her 3rd pregnancy. The first baby she had, her family raised for her. The second baby she had, the birth father raised on his own. This third baby she is pregnant with, she is going to attempt to parent herself. Because we knew she had been through all of this and was on the fence about adoption, D and I both knew not to get our hopes up. We know the decision she made was right for her which in turn the decision was right for us.
When it is our time and it is our baby that was destined to be with us, the wait won't be as it was this time around.
We really are happy that our file was shown just 2 weeks after going live and we really are excited about the future birth mother, birth family, forever child that is waiting out there for us.
All in due time, all in due time.
This was no surprise to me and D. Because the birth mom is no longer a mom that will have any future in our lives, I can share a little about her. She is 25 years old and this was her 3rd pregnancy. The first baby she had, her family raised for her. The second baby she had, the birth father raised on his own. This third baby she is pregnant with, she is going to attempt to parent herself. Because we knew she had been through all of this and was on the fence about adoption, D and I both knew not to get our hopes up. We know the decision she made was right for her which in turn the decision was right for us.
When it is our time and it is our baby that was destined to be with us, the wait won't be as it was this time around.
We really are happy that our file was shown just 2 weeks after going live and we really are excited about the future birth mother, birth family, forever child that is waiting out there for us.
All in due time, all in due time.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Someday...
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.
E.Y. Harburg
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Waiting in line...
On Tuesday, I was standing in line at a store paying for the items I was purchasing when I received a phone call. The phone call was from our adoption caseworker. She asked me if I had a minute to chat with her. I was expecting her to ask me "mock" questions about a potential birth mother. Our plan was to "practice" what it would be like when we actually got a real call on how D and I would decide to allow a potential birth mother to view our family album. Both D and I agreed that we could use the practice so that we would know how to handle the situation.
This was not a drill. This was not a "mock" trial. This was real life. The caseworker gave me information on a potential mother and inquired if it would be okay to allow her to view our family book so that she could decide if we were what she was looking for as far as potential parents for her unborn child. It was strange but exciting to hear all about her. We gave permission to the caseworker to allow our file to be shown to her. And now...we wait. In case you haven't gotten a clue yet, we are going to wait a LOT.
It was exciting to have our file looked at only 2 weeks after going "live" but at the same time both D and myself are leery and aren't overly exciting about it all since this will probably not be the first time we have our file looked at. We would hope that we are matched within a reasonable period of time but at the same time, we want it to be right. We want to be comfortable that we made the right decision, for ourselves and for our waiting child.
I received an update from the caseworker yesterday letting me know that the birth mother still hasn't made a decision yet but the birth mother is now thinking of trying to parent her unborn child herself. Whatever happens over the next few days, will not be the end by any means. Both D and myself are probably more excited that our file was looked at already and hopefully that it is a sign of things to come.
I wasn't sure I wanted to post this information and put it all out there but at the same time I wanted someone to know. I kept some of the information to myself and I probably won't post each time someone looks at our family book because after a while it may get old but because this was a FIRST for us, I had to share.
Always,
April
This was not a drill. This was not a "mock" trial. This was real life. The caseworker gave me information on a potential mother and inquired if it would be okay to allow her to view our family book so that she could decide if we were what she was looking for as far as potential parents for her unborn child. It was strange but exciting to hear all about her. We gave permission to the caseworker to allow our file to be shown to her. And now...we wait. In case you haven't gotten a clue yet, we are going to wait a LOT.
It was exciting to have our file looked at only 2 weeks after going "live" but at the same time both D and myself are leery and aren't overly exciting about it all since this will probably not be the first time we have our file looked at. We would hope that we are matched within a reasonable period of time but at the same time, we want it to be right. We want to be comfortable that we made the right decision, for ourselves and for our waiting child.
I received an update from the caseworker yesterday letting me know that the birth mother still hasn't made a decision yet but the birth mother is now thinking of trying to parent her unborn child herself. Whatever happens over the next few days, will not be the end by any means. Both D and myself are probably more excited that our file was looked at already and hopefully that it is a sign of things to come.
I wasn't sure I wanted to post this information and put it all out there but at the same time I wanted someone to know. I kept some of the information to myself and I probably won't post each time someone looks at our family book because after a while it may get old but because this was a FIRST for us, I had to share.
Always,
April
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Over the rainbow...
Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true...
Lyman Frank Baum
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Snail like...
I discovered last night that our adoption profile is listed on a couple of adoption websites. I was thrilled, excited, nervous and scared when I stumbled on our picture. I know we gave permission to our agency to do this for us but I guess I never really believed it was going to actually go out there for potential birth mothers or whoever to see. I think a part of me is still in denial that this really is going to all work out one day, the way it was destined to, but at the same time another part of me knows we really are going to have to buy a car seat and a crib in the event we are called because it is our time and our little missing family member has arrived. We can either wait until the last minute and not be prepared at all or we can buy everything we need so that we are not scrambling like crazy people when the phone call comes in. I am such the planner that you would think I would be all over this but alas I am moving like a snail. Because we are only less than two weeks into the waiting game, I won't worry and let my Type A personality take over yet. I will move like a snail for the meantime and today I will just appreciate that we are moving forward, on our destined path.
~ April
~ April
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
June is here...
♥
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
♥
-E.M. Forester
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)