Blind Sided

We received a phone call from our adoption caseworker on Wednesday letting us know that the birth mother that looked at our book has once again changed her mind about adoption and is open to it again....maybe. The birth mom, who I will now refer to as A, requested to speak to us on the phone. Our adoption caseworker asked us if we were willing to speak to A knowing that she is not sure yet about what she wants to do. Both D and I feel that even though this is a crazy, emotional and possible life altering decision, she could potentially be the person that is looking for us and us for her. Because this is the second time we have heard about A, it now feels like we are sort of like a boomerang in that we keep hearing about A and that she keeps coming back into our lives.

We had nice conversation with A this evening. I was extremely nervous and ran out of things to talk about the first 2 minutes into the conversation. Lucky for us, A is a talker. A told us that she really liked our family book and requested to meet us in person.

Because A is due in the very near future, as in SEVEN DAYS FROM TODAY, we are going to meet her sometime next week. We will not be meeting A alone though. We will be going to lunch with A, her caseworker and our adoption caseworker. Both D and I have no idea what to expect. It is one thing to have a conversation on the phone for 30 minutes where you can't see people's expressions and body language but a whole other to sit for an hour or so eating a meal together. It should be interesting.

D and I are happy that things are moving along pretty smoothly but we also are extremely cautious and guarded. A is a nice person from the little we know about her but A has said herself that she is not sure what she wants to do. There is still a great great GREAT possibility that A will decide to parent her baby. Therefore, we are not jumping around in our seats just yet or ordering cribs of any sort. The good news is that we will at least know in about 2 weeks if she is either going to pick us to care for baby or if she will be the one caring for baby.

One thing that we did tell A before we disconnected our call is that no matter what the outcome is, A will always be part of our adoption story because she was the first birth mother we had the chance to get to know and no matter what happens in the end, that will not change.

Always,

April